After suppressing myself from broadcasting this piece of news since I knew about it a couple of months ago, I can safely (from a superstition point of view) announce to everyone that I am going to be a father.

Not the actual picture

It is still half a year away from due date but I am very frighten. I guess this is normal since I would be stepping out of my comfort zone and my routine. I can’t even take care of myself well enough, would I be able to take care of a fragile baby?

And I always have this phobia about pregnancy. I almost blacked out on the train once while reading a chapter that narrates an abortion.

Since then whenever I overhear or see such things, I would feel nauseous and uneasy. It is akin to your fear of dark or certain animals. But because of what I have to go through, I have to face this ‘fear’ head on.

It was not easy. Especially when I first saw this.

Not actual picture

Even as I was trying to paste this onto my posting, my hands are getting weak. To be there for my wife(and not to lose face in front of the gynae), I just gritted my teeth and hung on and on and on.

I have gone through this 3 times so far. Things haven’t improved.

But compared to what a pregnant women has to go through, I guess it is nothing.

Beside igniting my phobia more often, it is also quite an educational period. I learn a lot about babies and stuffs. The main eye-opener would be the cost of each Gynae visits. We had spent more than $300 so far and I think it is just the tip of the iceberg.

In time to come, I have to start thinking of who to take care of the baby. Have my wife to stay home, get a maid or use baby care center?

Or maybe I could be a stay home papa?

Neh..